random thoughts for december '16


who are you?

it's been almost three weeks now,
once again she brings up these questions:
are you ok?
are you feeling lonely?

this time, another one comes up:
what about that friend of yours, is she moving in?
at that moment i searched my brain for an answer i hadn't completely found yet;
oddly enough, what comes out of my mouth is this:

who are you?
who are you when you're not a mother?
who are you when you're not a daughter?
who are you when you're not a wife, a sister, a roommate?

those questions came up during a speech of some character in a silly rom-com movie
and there they were, flashing in my brain in pink neon lights,
spilling out of my mouth as my answer started to shape itself out.

do you know it?
can you tell me?
i don't, i can't.
but i want to find out.

who am i at 3 a.m., sleepless and afraid?
who am i in the middle of the afternoon, melting because of the heat?
who am i when i wake up 
and have the chance to be the person inside this body for another day?

who am i?
who are you? 

so, believe me when i say:
mamma, i am ok;
sometimes i get lonely, but
mamma, i am ok. 


"the thing about being single is, you should cherish it because in a week, or, a lifetime of being alone, you may only get one moment. one moment when you're not tied up in a relationship with anyone;
a parent, a pet, a sibiling, a friend. one moment when you stand on you own".
- how to be single

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