random thoughts for october '16


i took a bus to your town.
not to see you. in the end, you were all i thought about.

i took a long walk around your big city with my friends.
it overwhelmed me a little. i should've been happy to be with them but i wasn't.
i ain't.

i took a bus back home.
the pain in my chest grew as i made my way back down south.
the songs on my playlist didn't help much, neither did you.

i'm not much for walking, but yesterday i did it until it hurt.
self-inflicted pain is all i know about getting over a broken heart.

i sat down on a bench right in front of the sea.
the pain of holding onto you overflowing my eyes.
your silence pressing down my chest 'til i could barely breathe.
the open-end of the story that never really began cutting into my old battle wounds.

i took a bus to work and there i wiped my tears away.
at least i learnt the concept of "faking it" earlier in life,
though i've been faking it since you walked away and i'm still nowhere near "making" anything.

you fucked up my heart.
the only guy i trusted not to.
 and i've been stuck in the same place since you did it.
 the worst is that after all your mixed up signals, i'm not even sure why.


"you left me here by the sea,
now all i wish i could see is you and me"

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